One of the most frustrating pieces of advice I constantly hear (since publicly discussing our fertility issues) is that I just need to learn to relax. It’s amazing that everyone and their mother seem to think if you just relax then you will spontaneously combust with child. At first I could nod and smile and say “yeah I am a fairly relaxed person but thanks for the tip”—but now I feel like giving them a complete biology lesson on the mechanics of a woman and that sometimes relaxing does #!%* all. Even if I ever conceive without any ART I swear I will never give that piece of advice to anyone struggling with TTC because it is honestly just useless. Try telling someone who has to take their temperature every morning, or is charting their ovulation week or has a regimented schedule of meds to take that they should drop it all and BAM it will all work out—because the reality is that sometimes it doesn’t work out and it is devastating for people just to assume you are an uptight person and that is why you haven’t conceived. I am lucky enough that not one of my close girlfriends or sisters have given me such useless advice and instead have all sat with me, countless times, to just listen to what I have to say. They nod and smile and encourage what I am doing—they ask me questions with sincere curiosity—and while they all tell me that maybe one day a tiny miracle will be inside me, they never tell me that the route I have chosen to take, is one that I have done in haste. And I can honestly say that I am never more relaxed than I am after a chat with my gals!